What should be firm and could leave a lasting impression if it isn’t? A handshake! A first impression can go a long way and a firm, confident handshake is a good place to start. My Dad taught me how to shake. He explained that the goal was not to crush a person’s hand but to bring confidence to the introduction that will help him or her remember you, and show that you have enough respect for the person to bring your best. I’m reminded of this every time I shake a “limp noodle,” as my 11th Grade German teacher used to call it. Mrs. N took the time to make sure her students knew the importance of a good handshake. Of course, we (meaning me) used it against her. She hated, and I mean hated, the “limp noodle.” So when she would greet me every morning I, being the smart aleck that I am, would let my hand go limp before shaking. Every time she would give an awesome squeal and then would smack me with the nearest notebook.
What does this have to do with dads? Well, over the years I have noticed the lack of a firm handshake in young adults and teens. Is this something that is not being taught anymore? Is it because our lives have become so busy that we don’t have time to show our children this small, but important skill? Or is it the rise in single parent homes and the lack of a male role model in some homes? Is a firm handshake important to you?
I have already begun teaching my 4 year old son how to shake hands and how to introduce himself. He has picked it up and I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing him using this new skill. It’s a small task when you think about it, but it’s one that will give confidence and respect to your child. How could that be a bad thing?
About the author:
Will, a native of Texas, lives in Minneapolis, MN with his wife and two boys (4 years and 2 years). He works as a Project Manager for a technology company when not at home spending time with his family. Will is currently learning to play guitar with his 4-year-old, and also enjoys trips to the Farmers’ Market on Saturday mornings, playing “Cars” with the boys and watching baseball.
He has recently started writing guest blog posts, but doesn’t have a blog of his own. However, Will spends a lot of time working on his wife’s blog, www.motherlylaw.com. You can connect with Will on Twitter at @willbinMN.
There’s a lot here, Will. Well done. We had entire practice handshake sessions before my high school graduation, but I guess that was eight years ago, so you may be right. It may be a fading art, but my dad showed me how to shake properly and, like you, I’ve passed it on to my son as well, so hope is not lost.
Thank you, sir! It really blows my mind how often I run into this.
Excellent point Will! Either guys shake really hard to the point of crushing your hand or their so limp it’s back to the noodle. I also appreciate a women with a good handshake. I do think a lot of these physical social skills have given way to online etiquette which isnt really there either. Bottom line? It all starts at the home. Great Post Will!
Thanks Josh! I forgot to mention that, but a bone crushing handshake is almost as annoying as a limp noodle or dead fish as some folks call it.
Thank you, thank you for reinforcing the importance of a firm handshake! My grandfather and my father made a point of teaching me this as a child. Now my father and I continue the tradition with my 5 kids. One critical component we always focus on: look the person you’re greeting directly in the eyes as you shake his/her hand firmly. Like you, I also consider this duo a basic sign of respect and practice it repeatedly with the kids.
Bill – it’s great that you have your Father involved. Many times I think kids learn better from someone that is not involved in their day-to-day life. Good for you for passing this on to your kids.
Definitely agree that a firm handshake is a great way to introduce one’s self and I’m endeavoring to teach my son (6 yo).
Although, to me the handshake itself is less important to me than the additional aspect that I’m trying to teach my boy. Which is to be sure to make eye contact while meeting that person and introducing one’s self. I think that eye contact also gives both people confidence and establishes a trust. Of course, at age 6, he’s a bit challenged vertically to accomplish this with most adults, but he knows where I’m coming from and he genuinely makes his best effort.
I definitely agree about the eye contact. I think it’s all part of building confidence. I probably should have created a list of Best Handshake Tips. Thanks for the comment.
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