I have been following along with a story that came out of Cleveland, Ohio where an 8 year old boy was taken from his home because he was being protected by authorities for what they are calling abuse by his mother for overfeeding the boy and not controlling his weight. I had a long debate with my wife about this and we both took sides with the mother and also with the social workers on the case. It was a tough discussion. Is this a situation where social services needed to step in to help save the child? We again differed in our opinions and were not able to be more definitive in what was right or wrong here. I’m not sure there is an easy right or wrong answer.
For those that are not familiar with the story, you might want to look up the articles being written. For a quick sketch, the 8 year old Cleveland Heights boy is 8 years old and weighs more than 200 pounds. Let that sink in for a moment. We often hear of children being protected for physical abuse by a parent and they mention in the article linked above that this is the first time they can recall a child being taken from a home for protection against obesity.
It is stated that social services had been working with the mother for more than a year to help get the child’s weight problem under control to no avail. Of note to me is the fact that this mother is also a substitute elementary teacher. One would think she would be more cognizant of the issues of children and abuse. I have no doubt that the mother loves her child and might be seeing the feeding of the child as a way to prove or show love. I have none of the detailed facts as to the why and what. Does her lack of discipline make her a bad parent? Is this clearly a situation where authorities need to step in to protect the child?
The 8 year old in this case has trouble breathing, has sleep apnea, and may have other health related issues. A study that is reported by the Center For Disease Control and prevention shows that nearly 17% of kids are obese. These children are getting things like hypertension, diabetes and diseases related to their health. Are those kids also at risk of abuse? I am not sure we are seeing this as a problem like the case here with the 200+ pound 8 year old, but where is the line drawn? Is there a body mass index that is the threshold? Should we be trying to draw a line? Commons sense needs to be the authority in this situation but I am not sure where we start the line of good and bad.
In answering these questions, many more questions are raised as a result. Is obesity the issue here? What happens when children are in a home where both parents are heavy smokers? Do we remove them from all dangerous conditions? If Dad drives too fast and gets continued speeding tickets or accidents do we remove children from a situation where they are at an increased risk for car accidents? This raises many other analogous situations which my wife and I discussed. We asked about third parties that might have a hand in this “abuse”, i.e. kids’ meals or soda and candy makers. Are our schools also putting our kids at risk? How much do genetics play into this case? Like I said we had many more questions than answers.
I am not sure where everyone stands on this and I would love to have us Dads talk a little about what we as parents should be doing. Do we need to protect children from overeating? Have we become so lazy that we are on our way to becoming the fat and lazy slobs on the spaceship in Wall-E? I hope not.
I think a lot depends on the circumstances surrounding the reasons for obesity. If it is simply over feeding, not taking them to the doctor for routine examinations and such, then I think CPS has the right to step in and say hey, this is dangerous conditions for your child.
I do know there are some situations (disorders and conditions) that cause people to gain weight and stay on the heavier end of the spectrum. I think if parents are doing their best to care for the child and keep a handle on the conditions, then that is okay.
I think it comes down to is this caused by lazy, inattentive, and uncaring parents, or by some other deciding factor.
Great article.
As the report stated, the child has an older sibling that is tall and thin. Both parents are overweight but it does not appear that the child is more likely to be obese because of a medical problem.
In this instance it appears that the mother is not lazy, not inattentive or uncaring. I am not sure the factors of the causes here but, I am heartbroken for the child and for the mother in part. Thanks for commenting John!
I think abuse is any harmful behavior that is clearly way outside the bounds of what society regards as normal. In that sense, this story is not so much about obesity or over-eating but about the child’s highly abnormal weight and the effect it’s having on his health.
In the case of smoking parents, it would be the same. Lots of parents smoke, but if they refuse to go smoke outside when they have a child who could be hospitalized because of it, that qualifies as abuse. That’s only reasonable because most of other behavior I can think of which would land a child in hospital, would get a parent in hot water with social services.
“…outside the bounds of what society regards as normal.” I understand what you mean by that statement but I am not sure we can all decide on “normal”. I had to chuckle a little at your use of “reasonable” too. Are you a lawyer? Kidding aside, thanks for weighing in on this issue (no pun intended).
Anyone out there a trampoline maker?
Three meals a day is considered a requirement. Snacks in between are not. If a child gets hungry before the next meal, then the parent needs to provide him/her with a healthy snack. I typically have fruits and veggies available, however my oldest son does not like those so he has snacks with whole grains that he can eat. Yes, occasionally I’ll let them have sweets but those are typically reserved for holidays and special occasions or desserts.
Some feel that food intake can be controlled by how much exercise a child gets. The NFL has a “Play 60” promotion to encourage children to get 60 minutes a day of activity. People blame video games for obesity because a child just sits there and stares at the television all day. My arguement to that is there isn’t physical activity in reading either but show me a parent who says they don’t want their child to do that? Books were around long before video games, was child obesity a problem when children were reading books? Video games aren’t active but they increase hand/eye coordination which prepares them for physical activity and sports when they play.
I’m not advocating video games over reading, just looking at both sides of the coin. This is definitely a growing problem, my niece is ten years old and overweight. Her father is constantly trying to get her active but she has quite an appetite. Do they make something for children that helps to suppress their appetite? Would it be a safe alternative to them snacking between meals?
Great topic! I’m new here and I’ll definitely be back.
Great comment Stephen. I think obesity is again related to the foods we eat. Much of what we eat has large amounts of fat and we eat it far too often. Soft drinks and many other vitamin water drinks are far too many calories for the kids. They are even far too much for us parents too. We need healthy alternatives too. I think portions are a big part of it, with our “super size it” mentality. Bigger is better but not in the case of what we are eating. We hope to see your thought provoking comments more Stephen and thanks for being a part of the Dads Talking community.
I just want to emphasize, that the abuse is an act that out of place, or put the thing out of place. sometimes something that has is manipulated the correct place so that the thing is precisely a destroyer of the place. most cases of childhood obesity occur because manipulation of food. whether most cases of childhood obesity occur because parents give cigarettes or alcohol to their child? I do not think so. give parents nutritious food and contain high protein. meat, vegetable, carbohydrate foods are healthy. but because the manipulation and the demands of industry and business, food is becoming unhealthy. parents give to children the fried chicken is not wrong, but if it becomes a trend because of the ads that continually broadcast in all media, who is wrong? parents are also educated by the environment.
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