Some very interesting research was recently released regarding heredity and bitterness as it relates to “taste.” The funny thing is that no one generally needs a study to tell parents that getting children to eat that which is unfamiliar to them can be a chore. Heck, I’m a grown man and getting me to eat that which is unfamiliar can be a chore! And as I was reading the research, a portion got me thinking about just that, the “unfamiliar.” Though the genetic component was equally intriguing.

I am a terrible slave to habit when it comes to food. I’m that individual who can eat at the same restaurant, ordering and consuming with delight the same dish, weeks at a time. I like what I like and that made me happy… until I had mini-me’s! My children have picked up that personality trait and are creatures of habit almost to the extent that I am. The interesting thing though is that I’ve always noticed that when it came to vegetables, so long as they had a “dip” they were familiar with they were more likely to try something new. Enter: Offering Dip Promotes Intake in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association. Those doing the study offered up a term I’d never heard of before: child neophobia. According to the study, “child neophobia” is defined as: a trait-like avoidance of novel and unfamiliar foods. Yep, that sounds about right. My youngest son puts ranch and Worcestershire sauce on just about anything he can consume and my eldest two will eat more than just raw carrots so long as there is dip available.  I really enjoyed reading the study because I found that it actually confirmed much of the behavior I’ve seen in my own household.

On the other hand, the study did make me feel somewhat bad about forcing certain foods on the kids. I want them to eat healthy and I can’t say that I’ve been the most compassionate dad when it comes to requiring my children to eat veggies amid their complaints of, “dad, this tastes gross!” Now, having some training in biological psychology, I should know better that much of the perception that accompanies our olfactory senses is subjective. I was given a stark reminder of that fact when I read that bitterness itself appears to have a link to heredity and then performed a similar taste test in my own home using taste tester strips which produce either a truly awful bitter taste, slightly bad taste, or just a plain paper taste. My wife and son tasted paper, but me, my daughter and youngest son’s faces all pruned up like we’d bitten into a lemon that wasn’t quite ripe yet. Oh, and it was BAD. Like, I needed some cream soda to wash away the taste, bad (though that also makes a great excuse for a nice cold mug of the frothy beverage).

So, what I walked away with here is that though there was some great information in this study, it really just reinforced what I see in my own household already. Kids who don’t like trying new things will try them if there’s something familiar and veggie dip can be just that for your little ones a familiar flavor to help move them into trying something new. I will however, take it a little easier next time one of my kids says, “ewwww, that tastes nasty.” Maybe it’s hereditary, maybe it isn’t but in case it is, I’ll allow a little more leeway in the future for dealing with that.

I have been compensated to participate in the Hidden Valley Ranch  “Love Your Veggies” parent panel and throughout the year will be posting content pertaining to getting your family (and especially those kids) to eat their veggies.  It’s for a great cause and it’s all about healthy habits but in the interest of transparency and full-disclosure, these posts will always be clearly labeled.

Photos: flickr- gemsling, table4five

Our kids will soon be off for their holiday break at school.  This means 2 weeks of trying to entertain the kids while I try to carry on with housework and with real world work on the job.  I hate to admit it, but I do let the Internet babysit at times.  My kids play video games, and they watch movies and play around watching funny videos on YouTube.  I am challenging them to read a little more this holiday break, and their school is also running a program that will allow to win prizes for reading over the holiday break.

Last April on my radio show I took some time out to do the show at my kids’ school.  It was “Take Your Kids To Work Day” and I decided instead to take my work to the kids.  We talk about some tips how to keep your kids safe online and I use some of those examples.  Be sure to listen in and feel free to give your own tips.  Some of the things we need to make sure to do as parents is to educate our kids to the dangers of being online.  Some of the finer points I wanted to throw out there for discussion by Dads are the following:

• Remind Your Kids That Online Actions Can Reverberate – Once Posted It Can’t Be Taken Back
• Explain About Putting Stuff Online Only a Parent Would Approve
• Understand Privacy Settings
• Review Your Child’s “Friends”
• Avoid Sex Talk Online
• Always Pay Attention To What Your Kids Are Doing Online
• Talk About Privacy

I have a Tween now that has a mobile phone and we are learning as we go with her use of the phone and how she is being social using the phone.  We are setting rules now that we hope will help her understand how a mobile phone can be used as a weapon of mass destruction and can be a huge responsibility. We have set out to help her understand ramifications of texting, photos and videos.  I would love to know some of the tips you parents have for your kids. A couple of ours:

• No phone after 9 p.m. (nothing good happens after 9)
• No pictures of other kids are taken without their knowledge and never shared
• Dad will read all texts…(Minors have no rights!)
• Phone Charged At Night In Parents Room

This holiday vacation is going to be tougher as my kids get more gadgets as gifts and as gaming online becomes even more social.  I can only hope common sense prevails.  Now to start enforcing those common sense lessons.

I have been following along with a story that came out of Cleveland, Ohio where an 8 year old boy was taken from his home because he was being protected by authorities for what they are calling  abuse by his mother for overfeeding the boy and not controlling his weight.  I had a long debate with my wife about this and we both took sides with the mother and also with the social workers on the case. It was a tough discussion.  Is this a situation where social services needed to step in to help save the child?  We again differed in our opinions and were not able to be more definitive in what was right or wrong here. I’m not sure there is an easy right or wrong answer.

For those that are not familiar with the story, you might want to look up the articles being written.  For a quick sketch, the 8 year old Cleveland Heights boy is 8 years old and weighs more than 200 pounds.  Let that sink in for a moment.  We often hear of children being protected for physical abuse by a parent and they mention in the article linked above that this is the first time they can recall a child being taken from a home for protection against obesity.

It is stated that social services had been working with the mother for more than a year to help get the child’s weight problem under control to no avail.  Of note to me is the fact that this mother is also a substitute elementary teacher. One would think she would be more cognizant of the issues of children and abuse.  I have no doubt that the mother loves her child and might be seeing the feeding of the child as a way to prove or show love.  I have none of the detailed facts as to the why and what. Does her lack of discipline make her a bad parent?  Is this clearly a situation where authorities need to step in to protect the child?

The 8 year old in this case has trouble breathing, has sleep apnea, and may have other health related issues.  A study that is reported by the Center For Disease Control and prevention shows that nearly 17% of kids are obese.  These children are getting things like hypertension, diabetes and diseases related to their health.  Are those kids also at risk of abuse?  I am not sure we are seeing this as a problem like the case here with the 200+ pound  8 year old, but where is the line drawn?  Is there a body mass index that is the threshold? Should we be trying to draw a line?  Commons sense needs to be the authority in this situation but I am not sure where we start the line of good and bad.

In answering these questions, many more questions are raised as a result.  Is obesity the issue here?  What happens when children are in a home where both parents are heavy smokers?  Do we remove them from all dangerous conditions? If Dad drives too fast and gets continued speeding tickets or accidents do we remove children from a situation where they are at an increased risk for car accidents?  This raises many other analogous situations which my wife and I discussed.  We asked about third parties that might have a hand in this “abuse”, i.e. kids’ meals or soda and candy makers.  Are our schools also putting our kids at risk?  How much do genetics play into this case? Like I said we had many more questions than answers.

I am not sure where everyone stands on this and I would love to have us Dads talk a little about what we as parents should be doing.  Do we need to protect children from overeating?  Have we become so lazy that we are on our way to becoming the fat and lazy slobs on the spaceship in Wall-E? I hope not.

Dads, eating your veggies is so very important to the healthy development of our children and, while we all know that, sometimes you don’t even feel like going through the hassle of trying to get them to eat those leafy greens. It’s sooo much easier to just order a pizza and tell yourself, “It has tomato sauce… that’s a veggie right? So, they’re getting their vegetables!” Yeah, been there. Done that. The truth though is that like many things, the key to getting children to eat vegetables is to set the example (something I was terrible at doing when my children were knee high to a turnip).

Can we get real for a moment? When I first had my children almost 16 years ago, I. HATED. VEGGIES! I can’t say that I’m a huge fan of them today, but as I’ve grown, so have my tastes. It’s odd, but about 8 years ago I suddenly began craving things I’d never previously had a taste for. I can remember one day thinking to myself, “I really want to eat a red or yellow bell pepper?” Subsequently, I wondered to myself if I was possessed and that was the voice of the veggie demon but, alas, it was me. And I had that yellow pepper shortly thereafter… and enjoyed it.

I wanted to share a little background because I’ve been invited to join a parent panel, focused on some very good things. I’m teaming up with the folks at Hidden Valley Ranch to help encourage families to get those veggies into their diets, but more importantly, to work with local chefs to raise awareness of the need for healthy foods and veggies in school lunches. You can read more about the Love Your Veggies campaign HERE.

To kick things off, I thought I’d share with you some tips on how you, DAD, can get those little ones to turn their chompers loose on some of the healthy crunchy stuff.

1. Ghandi said it best, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” That means, you have to set the example. If your wife is constantly telling the kids to eat their veggies and they see that daddy doesn’t eat them, eventually they’re going to turn to her and say, “But daddy doesn’t eat his.” And you know what happens then. So, set the example! You’ll have more peace with the Mrs. too. Trust me on this one, I know what I’m talking about.

2. Since many kids tend to see anything healthy as the enemy, and ultimately your goal is to get the enemy to infiltrate their little tummies, try camouflage! They can’t fight what they can’t see so you might try doing things like adding spinach to the meat mix for a meatloaf or to hamburgers. Juice some carrots, but add them to the juice of a very sweet apple or asian pear, or both. There are many ways you can hide the veggies and see your mission accomplished.

3. If you can’t eat ‘em, dip ‘em. My kids love ranch dressing! They actually prefer raw veggies to cooked ones but the only way they’ll eat them is with ranch dip. We’ve actually taken that a step further and I make a mean chicken, broccoli, pasta salad. They kill it every time and it’s so easy to make. You just get some chicken strips (if you don’t feel like cooking them, try Tyson pre-cooked chicken strips in the refrigerator section of your local supermarket), some raw broccoli, add a bit of balsamic vinagerrette, some may and a heaping helping of ranch dressing. That was one of the great things about being asked to serve on this panel was that I was already using the product… Hidden Valley Ranch dressings are a staple in my house. The Ranch Dressing travel-size cups are a great item for kids and school lunches. Definitely check out HVR’s selection HERE.

4. Did I mention already to set the example? One of the things you can do is find a dressing that works for you and helps liven up the flavor of those oh so droll veggies. Spice up the taste with an add-on the pleases your palette, like the Southwest Chipotle, Creamy Balsamic or Original Caesar (my daughter and youngest son’s favorite on salads).

Photo: flickr- kodomut

I have been compensated to participate in the Hidden Valley Ranch  “Love Your Veggies” parent panel and throughout the year will be posting content pertaining to getting your family (and especially those kids) to eat their veggies.  It’s for a great cause and it’s all about healthy habits but in the interest of transparency and full-disclosure, these posts will always be clearly labeled.

Just in time for Christmas shopping on Black Friday and the online shopping spree that is about to take place on Cyber-Monday, we daddies at Dads Talking would like to share our three top gifts we would like to see under the tree.  You know, that gift that would make our year, and the gift that does not involve mommy and mistletoe–another post for another time.

I asked all the Dads in our crew what they wanted for Christmas this year.  You can get a good look at what we think is important in our world.  This is not a list for all Dads, but I would bet that many Dads out there would be very thankful for these to be included in their loot under the tree.

We didn’t want to just make this a Christmas list, apparently a couple of the other Dads wanted to make sure that those celebrating Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or any of the other holidays could have a list of things that would be good for any of those celebrations as well.  I think we are drafting another list for those in the tribe perhaps and I can always make up a second wish list for that too!

I am going to kick off the list with my own gifts because, well, I like to be first.

1. I am an aspiring couch potato and love the idea of sitting all day on the couch watching football or enjoying a crystal shaking, picture tilting, surround sound movie and I would love to have a Samsung – UN60D7000 – 60″ LED-backlit LCD TV – 1080p (FullHD).

2.  The new craze in gadgets for many is being able to carry a library of books in your carry on bag or have an instant movie to allow the kids to watch a movie when Daddy has that conference call or a meeting where he thought it might be a good idea to bring the children.  For this task I would love the new Kindle Fire.

3.  In 2007 I was lucky enough to make the transition from PC to Mac.  This is one of the best business decisions I have made and since that time I have purchased an Apple iMac desktop computer, and have been an evangelist since my first day of use.  I really need to get the latest version of the Mac Book Pro as mine has been through major use including living through being dissected and taken apart by Adam in Las Vegas.  Enough said.

I think that is what I had as the top three but perhaps I can come up with more if pushed. Our car is giving us the headaches but perhaps that is a little large for fitting under the tree.

I am very interested in what Adam has on his list because he is always trying out awesome gadgets and reviewing products that are cool.  He started it off with something that was not only Dad friendly but was a highlight for the kids too.  I think my kids will be standing in line to go to Adam’s house!

4.  The game system that is sure to be on many kids’ lists as well as those that are into the greatest game experience is the XBox 360 Console. This is going to be a hot item as we recently went to BestBuy only to have to stand in line to demo the unit.  Wow, those kids are great at playing this game console.

5.  Our friends over at Kodak have influenced the next choice that Adam wanted in the Kodak W730S Pulse 7-Inch Digital Frame.  It is also available in a 10 inch model too.  I drafted and deleted 6 different quips after writing that last sentence.

6.  Adam finishes with a gift that every Dad is sure to want as part of his man cave.  In fact I think it could be a centerpiece of any dad’s hangout.  Actually, my wife might like this one too.  He has picked the Krups and Heineken BeerTender B100 with Heineken Draught Keg technology.  I married my beer tender.  This may be a close second.

Not to be outdone on the great ideas for Dad, Tshaka always proves to have some very unique ideas and I was surprised that we made our way out of the electronic gadgets and into some true style.  After having gone from the editing room to being a face of his new job, Tshaka brings the chic.

7.  When I think of men’s hats I think of that baseball cap you throw on when a shower is out of the question but not Tshaka, he is wanting to find The 500 Fedora from Goorin Bros.  They say that “The 500 is inspired by classic car racing. “  We all know this is the case because Tshaka is our wheel man.

8.  We don’t stray too far from the electronic gadgets on our list of the things we Dads want for the holidays when Tshaka next listed the Samsung Epic 4G Touch.  We will see many Dads wanting the latest phone as research has shown that Dads are more into mobile these days than are the Moms.  Google it, I am sure there is a stat that backs up my statement.

9.  Rounding out the geekiness that we are seeing on the list thus far, Tshaka goes with the Canon EOS 60D.  Tshaka is the new media player and this is a piece of equipment that shows you are serious about your career!

Josh is our last but not least Dad to be sure.  Josh was the first to send me his three must have gifts for the holidays and I can see his west coast lifestyle shine through.  It also makes me sure I want to be Josh when I grow up!

10.  Josh must be into that fitness thing as he decided first on the iPod Nano with the wrist strap (wrist strap not pictured).  He can listen to the latest tunes or even download his favorite audio books which may be the real reason and not fitness as he has to drive like 30 hours a week back and forth to work.

11.  The reason I think he wants to rock out and listen to audio books while commuting to and from work is because he is not on the lookout for smokey the bear which is why his next item is the Escort 8500 Radar Dectector.  All he needs now is a driver.

12.  The next item and the final item that rounds out the 12 Dad Gisfts for Christmas is the Apple software Apeture 3 picture editing software.  I suppose when people ask us if we are Mac or PC you all can guess where we stand.

This is really a cool list of items and frankly I could take any three you want to send. By the way we didn’t use a single affiliate link and none of us were paid to wish for these items.  We truly would love to have them.  Send them over if you feel we have been good boys.  I’ll do all the wrapping and make sure we get them under the tree in the right place for me to have access to them immediately.  We at Dads Talking hope everyone has a full list of things they want to see under the tree and we hope you all get those items and more, but our true wish this holiday season is that all of you are safe, healthy, happy and experience the true spirit of the holidays with your family.

Photo: Brian Nhuyen/The Aggie

I remember when the main thing I was seeing was a hashtag. #OWS or #OccupyWallstreet popped up on the social media radar and there were those who dismissed it at first glance, but I kept watching. From the interwebz to the front lawns of City Halls, to the concrete jungles of Wallstreet, I’ve been watching these protests for 2 months now yet none have struck a chord with me as much as the violence perpetrated against students in our California UC system.

This morning I came across an interview on BoingBoing which was a first-hand account of one such UC protest. The Occupy protests at UC Davis started off peacefully enough but were met with an almost barbaric violence of action… and it didn’t come from protestors! When you watch the video below, your first reaction may be horror at how these seemingly peaceful college students were treated by campus officers and one in particular (Lt. John Pike) but when you read the full interview at BoingBoing, it may be enough to get your blood boiling.

Yes, that alone is powerful enough, but then I began thinking, “what if those were my children peacefully protesting?” Then all the warrior, protector, father stuff welled up inside me and I had to get this post written. Let’s face it, right now our govt. isn’t too popular with “the people.” And with good reason! Look at California and how our educational system has degraded. One of the worst states in the country with an educational system in some cities that rates below some developing nations. Our youths are looking at these career politicians who fill the halls of our hallowed civic institutions and the system they’re a part of and many are hopeless about the future. The amount of students coming out of college and unable to find work factors into that, I’m sure. With all of this going on, it is hard not to empathize with our country’s youth and their peaceful protests. I’m amazed though by the brutality which we’ve seen visited upon these students by the authorities at UC Berkeley and now, at UC Davis. I can’t even put into words the rage I would be experiencing if one of my own were pepper sprayed in the face at point blank while peacefully sitting in protest of tuition hikes which could eventually place public education out of the reach of many.

I think back to the civil rights protests of the 60′s (I wasn’t around but I’ve done quite a bit of studying and listened to many, many first hand accounts) and wonder if those in power realize that by visiting this level of unwarranted violence on these youth that they may be sewing a violence creating by their own heavy hand. I remember that segregation and Jim Crow produced the MLK’s of the civil rights movement but it also gave birth to radicals like the young Malcolm X and Black Panther Party. Do we really want to push our youth to adopt the mantra, “By any means necessary!” Moreover, do we really want to see them act on it? If the police are already handling protests in the manner they are, I can only imagine the violence visited upon rock, knife or gun wielding “occupiers.”

I must admit that there is a strong part of my personality that as Dave Chapelle put it is a “habitual dissenter” but it is only the part of me that looks at life and systems and asks, “Why can’t we do this better? In fact, why aren’t we doing this better?” I think the amount of critical thinking we encourage in public grade school is already at levels that make me sad, but now it feels as though we’re trying to also take youths who are casting off indifference and complacency and show them that complaining without action is the preferred course of action… unless of course those actions are violent.

Determination. Drive. Heart. Commitment. Winning.  These are all part of the motivational words we use when we talk about athletes, and we use it to define success and often we use benchmarks to compare each other based on results and the outcomes of competition.  I see people like Tiger Woods and look at how he and his Dad had a special relationship about where Tiger as a child wanted to go and what it means to set goals and look at those as watermarks to strive to achieve greatness.  His dad pushed, if not outright shoved him into the spotlight, making him mentally tough, making him concentrate on skills and making him shoot for the stars and keep his mind focused on being the best in the world.  If there is one guy I would like to play a round of golf with it would  be him.  Not because I think it would be great to play a round of golf with one of the greats, but because I would love to talk to him about how his father helped him to become the man he is today and all that entails (not all things turned out successful as we all know, but that’s another post completely).

In the height of my own golf career, such that it was, I saw this as a way to compete and a way to stay in a game that mattered less about physical skills and more on the mental aspects of the game.  I was not that great but I had my moments.  I just knew I could play a game with my kids, and went as far as to name my firstborn after the famous golfer pictured here.  I wanted my child to be great at sports be the best at whatever she chose as her path.  As it turns out, she will not be the next one to win the cup in golf, but she chose basketball as her sport.

I don’t want you the reader to think this post is only about sports, I think it applies to all aspects of parenting and the path chosen by our kids.  We as parents want to help guide our children whatever the hobby or sport or instrument is they choose.  My daughter also plays the violin, loves to write and can sing pretty well too, however, her passion is on the court playing basketball.  I’m a short, white guy who can’t jump, so you know the basketball gene was not mine but she is good at it. l give full credit to Mommy who can play circles around me. My sons have yet to really choose “their thing” unless of course you think video games as the next sport or skilled professional, but I am sure they would be great if it was.

I am now helping my daughter be successful in her chosen world.  We have her playing in a competitive league that travels and is almost professional in its own right.  It is a financial commitment and a time commitment.  We hear of the sacrifices made by parents of Olympic athletes that took their daughter to the ice rink at 5:00 a.m. to get ice time for their skating practice.  This is not too far from that same commitment and sacrifice.   As a Dad, I am helping her with the foundation that she needs to be in a position to succeed.  The words that started this piece are words we live by in our family.  Heck our family motto is “Work Hard – Play Hard.”

My question to parents out there is this, “How much is too much?”  I am always afraid of being too zealous in my pushing and trying to get the most of her abilities, and finding that line to keep pushing her to the maximum point she can handle and being there to guide her to the next level.  Most humans will at some point want to quit, or to take the easy road.  I tried to quit a number of times growing up when playing sports, but my parents made me keep my promise to myself and my teammates.  I am so glad they kept me focused on that and focused on how to be the best I could.  It allowed me to play at the varsity level in high school and even play at the college level.  They didn’t push near as much as they could have but my parents knew then the value of their guidance.  How much should I keep my foot on the gas?  I don’t want to push too far, but it is a fine line I seek. You are probably pushing too but don’t realize to the extent you might be doing it.  You want your child to succeed at walking so we coach and teach and keep trying day in and out to get that first step.  Did you push too hard for that first step? Don’t even get me started on potty training.  My daughter walked at nine months, her brother right after her I thought would be crawling down the aisle to accept his diploma at high school.

We Dads can be a competitive lot and we have egos and chest bumps to match.  Does this equate to being a drill sergeant on the court and in the classroom, on the stage and other places our kids must compete?  “My dad can beat up your dad” is when our competitiveness begins. We want to one up our competition in each phase.  Does that translate to how we want our kids to be?  Am I driving my child to the couch in a therapy session?  Are you pushing your kids? If so, how much?

Photo via BBC

About three months ago, I wrote a post detailing an opportunity I had recently received. I now handle social media over at Fox11 in Los Angeles and, let me tell you, it has been an incredible learning experience and a humbling privilege to help blaze a trail for the future of local broadcast journalism. In the time since I began, I’ve dropped in on an Occupy Los Angeles LiveStream session and helped connect my organization with the people at the front of that cause locally. I’ve been involved in some serious breaking news events where we gathered real-time information via the web and brought it into our broadcast and I even held my first Google Hangout concurrently with a newscast… the day of the Conrad Murray verdict. All that said, I think that tomorrow night may be the most important step in this journey so far!

Something heinous is taking place on the other side of the country from Fox11 in Los Angeles, yet its reach is immeasurable. In some way, shape, or form, the atrocities committed against young boys by some at Penn State University (I know the acts of pedophilia  have been committed by only one, but the lack of action by others makes them guilty by association in my estimation) have shocked the nation, causing others to speak out about their own experiences with molestation. Tomorrow night at 9PM PST, at Fox11 in Los Angeles, I will be a part of a team leading a virtual discussion which precedes a broadcast discussion about much of the news still coming out of the Penn State scandal and the ramifications of sex crimes of the nature Jerry Sandusky has allegedly committed. We will be joined by a fellow blogger who has been very vocal and has pulled no punches when it comes to this topic, who blogs at SportsbyBrooks. We will also be joined by one of our anchors, Liz Habib and our legal analyst Robin Sax who has prosecuted sex crimes and brings unique perspective to the discussion as a former D.A. and a mother. Brooks will have some new info on the scandal and Liz who often handles our sports coverage will piece together where the story is now and the bigger picture which may now involve politicians in Pennsylvania.

You can join the discussion first by participating in our live webcast which begins an hour before our 10PM PST newscast at http://bit.ly/rtHl6b and on Twitter by using the hashtag, #Fox11Talks. I will also be running a Google+ Hangout from my own personal account to take question from my friends and followers there at http://gplus.to/tshakazulu. We will be cutting in during the 10PM broadcast and bringing the dialog to our viewing audience on channel 11 and then at 11:30 on channel 13 as well.

I hang out at many networking events and undoubtedly the conversation comes around to children.  We often fall back on that subject when we tire of the business conversation and you will find that we parents often like talking about that because we can identify better with the person we are speaking with when we talk “kids.”  We can all identify with the trials and tribulations of parenting and it gives us a chance to boast of our children, show their pictures and talk of the many antics we have experienced.  In fact, that is part of the reason parent blogging is so popular–we love to talk about our kids.  I am never surprised when after describing the fact that I have four kids 12 and under that most reactions are along the lines of “WOW!”  Yeah, I say that to myself all the time.  I usually add the quip of, “We found out what was causing our kids and put a stop to it right away!”

This is not so much the case with the Duggar family.

This for many would be the ultimate nightmare. They announced recently they are pregnant with their 20th child.  I am trying to do the math in my head for the number of diapers that family has changed over time, and wondering how much laundry a family of 20 children might have and how many loads that entails?  I am wondering how Mommy is holding up over 20 children, her body providing the calcium and nutrients to build 20 children in her womb.  As I began to fathom all these questions I began to wonder the sanity of the parents.  Is this healthy for anyone?  At some point those children would begin to question their own identity.  How do they stand out in a family of 20?  How can they feel appreciated and loved when they are fighting for that biscuit on the table at meal time?  I know that this is like the 8th wonder of the world situation and that they are getting much press, but really?  Is this a good thing?  Is 20 really necessary?  The family said God has blessed them, but has God really blessed them?  I’m not sure.  What do you think?  I question their sanity, their reasons, and how they continue to keep up this pace. Would you want 20? They travel the country giving their parenting advice and promote their DVD’s and books and television show.  I have some parenting advice for them-STOP!

Photo via Discovery News

Those of you that celebrate Christmas like I do in my family, there is the excitement of seeing if Santa came on Christmas eve and delivered gifts and left them for the children under the tree.  The excitement that bubbles up as we unwrap those presents can be a feeling that stays in our hearts and minds forever.  I can still remember every Christmas morning from my childhood, and now as a parent I see that in my kids’ faces.  My four children, aged 12-6, are very fortunate to have experienced that feeling and have yet to have a real Christmas or holiday of want.  For some children, they are not as fortunate and are not afforded those feelings of joy and excitement.  They not only do not know what they will be getting as a gift for Christmas but might not know where they will be at Christmas, be it a shelter, or a foster home, on the street or a place that Santa cannot find to deliver their precious gift on Christmas morning.  Some children will have a sad morning without a present, and may later that same day not know where their next meal will come from and where they will sleep that night.

I explained this to my kids. I talked slowly and carefully until I knew that they could grasp the seriousness of that existence.  I watched as they wrapped their mind around the thought of a child, cold and hungry and without a gift at Christmas.  It is more than their little hearts could bear and they wanted to help.  We are not a family of means, but the Lord has provided what we have and what we need.  We also have a little to share this Christmas and my children are experiencing a new found generosity.  It happens that our church is sponsoring a program that is in full swing this week.  It is a great life lesson we can use to teach our kids to share and to give.

The program is called Operation Christmas Child, and it is organized and put on by an organization called Samaritan’s Purse. (It is a really small world. I was able to meet a couple of people from their marketing team recently at BlogWorld & New Media Expo. Hi Hope and Sarah!) Samaritan’s Purse first began the program in 1993 when they began to collect shoe boxes, and the program has now grown to provide 77 Million boys and girls with a special gift during Christmas.  The program now takes place in 130 different countries.  It truly makes a difference to children and we are proud and humbled to be a part of the program.

Christmas is a time when we can truly bring a feeling of hope and a feeling of belonging in the world to our kids.  I was not fully convinced that my children had really truly understood the depth of the giving until I heard my 6 year old son volunteer to give his presents from Santa to a child that did not have a gift.  I knew then that he had embraced the thought and the despair of someone less fortunate than himself.  I was sure my lesson was learned.  This lesson is not for Christmas alone as it can also be a part of your Hanukah, a part of Kwanzaa or whatever the celebration it is that you support or is part of your family tradition.  This is the time to teach your children about giving.  Give the lesson to them as your gift.

Photo via Wikipedia