I’m not “that Dad” that blames his kids for everything that is going wrong in his life . Okay, maybe I blamed my child once for that fart noise at Thanksgiving dinner, but I digress. When I do something wrong, I usually own up to the fact that I made a mistake. I have told my kids that I am not infallible and that I too do things wrong and learn from those miscues in life.
Like our recent politicians blaming everyone else, our kids are often the first to get the blame. With all of that said, I am wondering if my recent job hunt filled with rejection, no responses, and just downright no opportunity can be blamed on my children?
Let me explain. I live in Colorado, in the middle of the country and my job prospects are often very limited in my area of expertise. I changed my career path in 2007 after 22 years in the legal industry and decided to go with my new passion of “social media marketing”. I have had my own business for the last 8 years, have taken small projects and large projects based upon those areas and have made enough to allow me the opportunity to make a mortgage payment now and then. My wife has a full time career which has made it possible for me to be the business owner and a stay-at-home-dad for the last 5 years. We are now at a crossroad where all the kids are in school, and I am itching to perhaps to get back to working in the “real world” and mortgage payments are more difficult to make. Basically, I would love to have more security of working for a corporation that worries whether my wages are paid and whether they can afford to make payroll, which also includes the selling, and closing, and all that comes with being the “man” in charge I have been.
Before my wife and I had children, we were pretty carefree. We knew that the worst thing that could happen in losing jobs or changing careers or the like could be overcome as we only had to worry about ourselves. We could move to another state, we could earn less or change our hours or live in a cardboard box if that is the situation we found ourselves. Then we had our first child. I was overcome with responsibility. We began to make every decision based on how it would effect the life of that small child. Our feelings, wants and needs came AFTER the needs and wants of that small bundle of joy.
Fast forward to today (four kids and a bigger mortgage) as I look for the job that will be a benefit to my family. Having that job would offer some security, would begin to allow for me to prepare for our retirement future, and better yet, will allow us the possibility to pay for that college degree that might allow my kids to have a better life than their parents.
My kids have lives. They have friends. They have established lives and a plan for their own future. We have an established routine and a certain amount of stress free existence. That may have to change based on the job prospects I am faced with today.
All jobs that fit my area of expertise are located in California, New York or Boston. I would have to move to Atlanta, or perhaps a life in Washington D.C., or Seattle. Colorado does not appear to be rife with “Social Media Marketing” positions. The age of telecommuting are yet to be the norm or are not available. I have been told I am “overqualified” a number of times for the jobs that are here in my area, but that is another post for another time (Peyton Manning was overqualified for his position too.) In order to get a secure job, does my life need to completely change? I cannot do that to my kids. Their lives would be changed so dramatically they would suffer. Does that make them responsible for my job prospects being limited?