The first reaction I had when I saw the Time magazine cover was that the folks at Time were poking the bear, or the “mamma bear” in other words. The Mother’s Day edition is how I looked at it. they are trying to get page views and trying to increase magazine sales. The best way to do the above is to be controversial. If you think that breast feeding is not controversial, just take a stand on it. Get off the fence and say breast feeding is bad or that Mom’s should breast feed until the child is in middle school. You will have plenty opposition to whichever side of the fence you choose. I saw comments of “Lactivists” and other terms that made it clear that this is an issue for the ages as it relates to controversy.
Dads would never have this type of coverage because for one, we are not controversial. We don’t get enraged at statements made against us or that might be against what we want to be known for in the world of parenting. The reason I am piping up and making a statement today has to do with a post by Jen Singer at Mommasaid. This is a great look and more specifically, I love the statement that she puts in the post:
We praise fathers for “helping” at home, as though they are part-time assistants, and trash moms for taking “me time.” When dads work, they are providers. When moms work, they are selfish. (Why is there no phrase “working dads”?) When dads endure a temper tantrum at the supermarket, they’re heroes for the effort. When moms do it, they’re bad mothers for not controlling their kids in public.
Jen we are shouting the same message but from a different pulpit. We Dads would love to be seen as a parent and not just as Mom’s assistant. We are not seen as a parent and that irks me. I even amplify that message when I mentioned to someone the other day that was trying to be like one of those “Supermoms”. We are constantly compared to the real parent, Mommy. Moms are trying to be treated more like Dad and we Dads want to be moms, but in the eyes of society neither of us will be granted that equality.